I’ve had the good fortune of learning from a man I considered my big brother who gained deep maturity and wisdom from sheer experience, introspection, and conscious application of these Lessons Learned.


First, be self-aware. Then be aware of surroundings, other people—how they react. But don’t stare.

Inner Strength

Take care of yourself.

Be strong for yourself, not someone else, or you’ll fall for them.

Get stronger on your own, not through other people.

Get strength from your hobbies. Never give up your interests or hobbies for a woman or relationship.

Acquire self-esteem then confidence.

Everything you’ve done in the past has prepared you for this moment. You know exactly what to do now.


Negative thoughts create negative behavior. People can detect this vibe.

Absence of thought means absence of vibe—you’re relaxed and it shows.

There’s a silver lining to every cloud.


Walk in feeling untouchable, a winner. Relive/switch on the feeling of moments when you felt confident; put yourself in the same mindset. Don’t think about the outcome, think about the moment.

Don’t force it until you’re ready. Breathe. Relax. No fear. No inhibitions.


Don’t show emotion. As a man, you control your emotions. You are in control, not your emotions. Life’s not fair. Don’t lose it, especially not in front of women; there are some things you don’t do in front of women.

Body Language

Don’t stare; keep your mouth shut.

Be completely relaxed—no sweating, no blinking, no fluctuating. Breathe steadily. Don’t give away any signs. If you’re neutral, they’ll give something away eventually, subconsciously, to which you can react. But there’s a fine line between being blank and being uncomfortable.

Live in the Moment

Go with the flow, daily.

In sparring, you feint, you bait, then you react. You don’t anticipate your opponent’s move.

Living on the edge

Label nothing—not even risk. Look at life as simply as possible.

Live life near death with no regard for the latter.


Make intelligent choices.

If you want to do something, do it.

Don’t do anything if you don’t feel like it or you’ll be uncomfortable and this will show.

Do what you feel like doing. If you don’t feel like kissing her on the second or third or fourth date, don’t do it.

Learning from mistakes

Shit happens. Have no anxiety if you fuck something up. It’s like tripping when you’re walking, it’s no big deal. You don’t go to bed thinking, “I tripped today, fuck!”

Don’t kill yourself over mistakes.

It’s more painful to leave the past than to live in it, but it’s the better choice.

Outer Game

Mess with people, fuck with their heads.


Be relaxed. Have fun. Have no expectations.

Make her feel you’re out to have fun.

Exert no pressure. Don’t rush to do something right away (getting her number, texting/calling).

Enjoy the moment.

Don’t analyze what she wants. Stick with what you want.

Know what you want from her.

Don’t get emotionally involved; otherwise you’ll forget your non-negotiables [dealbreakers].

Don’t live with her too soon.

Gauging interest

Move away and see if she moves towards you.


Be picky. Have high standards.


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