American female, mid 30s: “I’m bored here, I wanna move. I tried dancing tonight at my favorite spot but it was too crowded. I hate people. And they smell. I hate everything right now.”

Me: Are you PMS’ing?

No, I’m pissed about my ex-boyfriend and more pissed that I didn’t get to dance at my favorite spot because it’s full of pretentious assholes. I’m in negative land right now. I should have a private party and not invite anyone.”

[The next day…]

You were right, I just got my period.”

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